In this lesson, you will learn:
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LESSON THREE: Preparing A Child For Visitation
Children will have many different emotions about visits, from anxious excitement, to nervous anxiety, to not wanting to go at all.
Your reaction will be important. Adults need to help children have the best visit they can. Your support of the visit and of the child's relationship to his parent or relative is critical. To prepare a child for a visit, first prepare yourself. Watch your words and your body language.
Here are some suggestions for helping visits be more successful and go more smoothly.
Ideas For Visitation:
1. Foster parents are usually asked to transport a child to a visit. Know when the visits are and where they will be. Be on time so parents get the full opportunity to be with their children.
2. Bring something for the child and parent to do together (such as a book, a puzzle or a game) in case the parent hasn't prepared or toys aren't available. One foster parent brought materials for the parent and child to make a page for a life book, and brought a disposable camera for the two to take pictures together.
3. Begin the session by sharing something the child has said or done. Help the child make a picture to bring to the parent or share a school project. Prompt the child to share a story with the birth parent. Think about keeping the parent engaged in the day-to-day activities of a child.
4. Give your input to the social worker about what works best for your family and what works best for a child. Children might be cranky before a nap or mealtime, or you may have other appointments for the child. Try to be flexible and work with the parent's schedule, but work with the caseworker to find out what works best for everyone.
5.. Younger children may need more visits because of their age, especially babies, so be prepared if you are taking younger children with a reunification plan, visits will be frequent.
6.. Be mindful of the "handoff." That's the moment when you drop off the child or when you meet the birth parent. Greet the parent kindly and don't ignore him or her. Remember the child is watching how you treat his parent. Stay nonjudgemental.
7.. Most children do best with regular visits and a chance to look forward and prepare for a visit. But in some situations, children do better if they don't have too much warning about a visit. This is especially important if children are young, tend to obsess or perseverate, or if parents have a pattern of not showing up for visits. Discuss with your caseworker what is going to be best for the child in your care.
8. Know that sometimes visits don't go well. Birth parents may be distant, using substances, or say things that hurt a child. Birth parents may come across as critical of the care the child is receiving. The role of the resource parent is not to make things worse, to try not to take things personally, and to attend to the needs and the feelings of the child. Document and talk to the social worker about both the positive and negative interactions you observe between the parent and yourself and the child.